accidents

I was riding my bike to the local borders bookstore late last night to look for a new book to read and I almost got hit by a car, well actually the guy accelerates and then slams on his brakes right in front of me. I thought about the mouth full of rear window in my face and decided that I wasn't in the mood for glass tonight. I swerved just in time to avoid certain death or dismemberment. Today, on the other hand, I wasn't so lucky, again with the car stopping in the middle of the road, this time I was prepared, so I went to go around her just at the same time that she decides she wants to start parallel parking. I must admit I wasn't really paying attention to what she was doing or what she was going to do as I usually would. So the space between her, me and the parked car next to me quickly got smaller and smaller and I was going to be sandwiched in between them. I am now at the hospital waiting for an amputation on my right leg that is literally hanging by a sliver of flesh. Ok it's just a big bruise and I'm at the library next to the hospital. But it looked bad...or awesome depending on your perspective

That was the most fun I've had in weeks. The girl ran for it, so I gave chase. Unfortunately for her, she was in a car and I was on a bicycle. You know that scene from Casino Royale at the beginning where Bond chases the guy across construction yards, in the air on cranes, thru an embassy with embassy guards shooting at them and then at the end Bond faces off with the guards and he's holding the chasee as his human shield and then he shoots the guy and shoots the gas tank and everything explodes spectacularly...well my chase wasn't like that at all. It was better...WAY Better!

I cut corners, went thru supermarkets, smashed through windows, dove down hidden side streets as shortcuts, I think I got on some rooftops at one point like that time in Batman Begins where he takes the Tumbler on rooftops before landing on the freeway, well I didn't land on the freeway...but needless to say, the girl will not be having a great Sunday...cuz she's in prison, not because I beat her up, I don't condone violence against women, only against taco bell dogs and cats...possibly pigeons too.

disclaimer: possibly some or potentially all of the above is probably or may not be a figment of your author's imagination